New Mom Confidence

Many women experience a dip in their level of self confidence once they become a mom. You begin to doubt your ability to be a good mom, you doubt the fact that you are still an attractive vibrant woman, you worry that your husband may find you less attractive… you begin to question exactly who you are a person. This is normal… I know, I say that often in these pregnancy articles. The reason I say that is because it’s true. Wondering why no one ever talks about it then, that is because if you knew all of the changes physically and emotionally that you were going to experience before you got pregnant… you may not want to get pregnant at all. However, most women that have had a baby, once they hear what you are going through will smile in acknowledgement for we have been there too. For pregnant women, you can check out our obstetrics prenatal care at Mid Atlantic Women’s Care.

• The main cause for loss of confidence relates to being in unfamiliar territory. Change makes most of us anywhere from uncomfortable to feeling distressed.
• Recognize that change can sometimes be a good thing and that with discomfort and upset comes opportunity for growth

• It is really important to figure out where you derive your worth from and then redefine this if necessary. Being a mom is a crucial job – but you need to believe this.
• Redefine what is awesome about yourself.
• Make a list of all the things you feel you do well. Just write everything down, no matter how insignificant – Examples
  • I make sure we never run out of breakfast cereal
  • I keep my baby clean and well fed
  • I am have great taste in wine
  • I am good at juggling the baby and cooking dinner
  • I am good at researching baby products
  • I am good at going for walks even when it is cold.
  • I am a stylish dresser
• Make a list of all your great qualities/attributes – examples
  • I am a great friend
  • I am reliable
  • I am big hearted
  • I am generous
  • I look beautiful in red
  • I have moments when I feel l exude a more vibrant
• Make a list of things that matter the most to you – what do you value the most/what is critical
  • E.g. your husband, your child’s wellbeing, your own health
  • If something was on your list of worries, but not on your list here, just accept that it is not important.

• At first when you have your baby, there isn’t time for much else, nor do you have inclination/energy to worry about your waning confidence, but as time passes it is important to recognize the value that growing our minds has on our sense of wellbeing and confidence.
• Create a project/interest outside of your baby where you learn a new skill– have it be something you are interested in.
• It could be
  • Something you can do in the evenings, or while your baby is awake. Eg listening to audio books.
  • Do it with a friend/life partner/on your own
  • Could be intellectually stimulating (if this is what you need), or mindless (if this is what you feel you need) e.g. formal education versus knitting.
• Many moms agree, unless you engage your mind in learning/useful activities, it will start to grow weeds and you start to feel the ‘mushy brain phenomenon’.

4. CONFIDENCE CAN BE RECREATED

• Accept that your loss of confidence is just a temporary state and can be rectified.
  • Window of time with a baby is sooooo small – that first 12 months will pass quickly
  • As your child grows, you will start to claw back some independence and will presented with opportunities to rekindle your passions and interests and generally start to focus on your own needs.
  • The ultimate question to ask is which choices will provide me with the most fulfillment?
  • Whatever the choices are that you make about your life, you need to recognize that acceptance of who you are and what you do is critical.
  5. IMPORTANT JOB – I know it’s a cliché
  Recognize the importance of what you are doing
  • It was often said to me in the early days and weeks of having had my baby that I was doing the most important job in the world.
  • I gave lip service to understanding that being a good mum was an important job. I would smile and listen politely, but I never really bought into it. UNTILL someone reminded me of the power that one individual can have in the world.
  • Don’t you think Richard Branson’s/Dali Lama, Nelson Mandela’s moms would be proud of them.
  • You are raising these babies, but one day they will be men and women who will leave there mark on Society.
  • You can recharge your confidence level if you take the tips above to heart and talk with other moms. You are not in this alone. I know that there is a saying that it “takes a village to raise a child,” I am more partial to my own saying which states that, “it takes strength to be a mother.” That is a strength that you have deep inside of you, you just need to find the best way to bring it out.

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