by Jeanelle Lanham
Teenage years, the time most parents are unsure about, when it should be one of the best times for parents as well as teens. Its the time when parents can talk to their teens in a manner that’s mature, a time when parents can have a conversation with their teens and know that to some extent what has been said was understood. It’s a time when teens should be able to talk to their parents about any and every thing; they should be able to talk about things that are hard to talk about. I know that can and will be a scary thing to do but you can do and there’s an easy way to implement it into you daily lives. There is a method out that allows you to talk with your teenager confidently knowing change will occur for the betterment of both the teen and parent. The P.A.U.S.E. method helps parents by sharing 5 tips on how to show love to their teens in practical ways. Theses 5 tips can be implemented into your day to day life as they were created to add to your life!
Step 1 – P. = Parenting
Parenting can be tricky, every single one of us has been raised differently and we have our own views and beliefs of what is the “proper” way of parenting a teenager. I remember as a teenager when my mother would parent me and I would say “when I am a parent I will not do my kids like this!” I am not sure if any of you felt that way as a teenager but I did and I made a point to stick to that statement. Parenting is remembering when you were their age; its remembering that being a teenager is a difficult time. Being a teenager has changed from when we were teenagers, its gotten worse. The challenges and temptations are everywhere and we as parents must remember that teens are not trying to disrespect us when asking a question. Parenting is teaching them things that will empower them to excel; teach them the things we learned as teenagers. We must parent by passing on our knowledge.
Step 2 – A.=Acceptance
Parenting is made easier when we learn to accept our teens for who they are. Acceptance will play a big role in how your teens looks at themselves. If they are getting acceptance from home they are less likely to be affected if they are not accepted or are ridiculed while outside of the home. Your acceptance is the foundation of their confidence.
Step 3 – U.= Understanding
Acceptance can be a challenging process, especially when we are unsure about what it is we see. Understanding is key to opening the door of acceptance. When your teen is behaving in a way that is hard for your to accept take the time to ask questions. Asking questions to get understanding will get you closer to your teen.
Step 4 – S.= Share
It can be a hard thing to share your past experiences with your teen but letting them know that we are not immune to stress, depression, breaking up, school, parents etc it lets them know that you are just as human as they are. Sharing your achievements and mess-ups gives you and your teen an opportunity to bond and figure challenges out together.
Step 5 – E. = Encourage(ment)
Encouragement is an important step in the P.A.U.S.E method because it ties the first for steps together. No matter what you and your teen go through encouraging them in all things will make a big difference in their lives. Tell them how proud you are of them when it looks good and even when it looks bad. Giving an encouraging word affects their thinking and when their thinking is sound and sober so will their lives be.
Every day we’ll have an opportunity to P.A.U.S.E – to show our teens. This method doesn’t take a lot but will make a big difference when implemented into your every day life.
*this is an example of what our new book P.A.U.S.E – show love to your teens will talk about when we publish in a few months.
Biography: Jeanelle Lanham is the Founder/CEO of Hodge Podge – the teen cafe®, a Certified Teen & Family Life Coach, and Published Author. She dedicates a lot of her time creating ways to help teens and their families with daily challenges; giving them a tools to live successful lives. http://www.HdgPdg.com
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