Does your child seem to lack motivation? Part of parenting is trying to get inside your childs head in order to better understand him or her. When a child seems to be lacking in motivation, it helps to be able to get into his world and discover the purpose of his behavior. Perhaps your child is trying to tell you that he thinks he is in a “power struggle” and doesn’t want to be “made to do something”.
Maybe his lack of motivation stems from being hurt by your high expectations and the perception of love is conditional and wants to hurt you back by not trying.
Below are 2 tips to help you motivation your children:
1. Take a look at your own behavior. Are you not giving your child enough quality time, which may invite him to seek attention, even if it negative attention? Are you controlling? Do you have unrealistically high expectations of your child? If so then stop these behaviors and choose alternative ways to create a more respectful relationship. You will be surprised as to how your child’s motivation will increase.
2. Sometimes you should allow the consequences to be the teacher. Consequences are what happens as a result of a child’s choices, and not something that you imposed. By allowing certain situations that your child chose to result in a negative outcome, this will teach them that they should be self motivated.
I think this is fine advice.
Parents do very well to look at themselves first, before anything else. Is there a better way – even a different way – they could be doing something. Stopping a certain behaviour will likely go a long way to improving a situation.
And, directing children to the consequences of their actions is a far more productive avenue than arbitrary punishment. It exasperates children when they can’t make things add up – why should “talking back” to Mum have led to losing out on watching my TV program. The one bears no relation to the other. “I don’t appreciate being spoken to that way!” is a far more powerful consequence. Parents have to trust that it resonates with children.